Another update from the Jungle….
Dawn, the Chief Talent Officer for her company, is slogging through the remaining weeks of the political campaign. She hates what it’s done to her job. This week she’s thinking of changing her title to Chief Tortured Officer
Helen, the Voice of Doom, didn’t take the hint a couple of weeks ago when Dawn tried to politely tell her to get lost. Helen continues to show up every morning to depress Dawn with her worries that the election will degenerate into violence and mayhem.
After Helen leaves Allen, the Philosopher King, drifts in the door. His garbled theories on democracy in America sound profound until you listen closely. Then you realize he’s just fogging up the room with BS. Besides Dawn couldn’t care less.
She has a real political crisis this week. She’s been summoned to the President’s office. Rory, the Prez, also wants to discuss the election and what it means for the office. Rory’s channeling Jack Nicholson’s “Colonel Jessup” from “A Few Good Men” pacing the office and growling.
The workforce is as divided as the nation and it’s getting ugly. Yesterday Rory broke up a fight in the employee parking lot. The Trump and Clinton supporters were trying to rip the opposing candidate’s stickers off car bumpers. Rory waded in, knocked a few heads together and ordered everyone back to work.
He’s not worried about a little fight in the parking lot. He’s mad as heck that no one seems to be working. The company’s internet connections are smoking hot as workers visit “news” sites to hear the latest salacious details about the candidates and their families. Then they stand around arguing about what they’ve read.
Rory glares at Dawn and asks if he can fire a few people to set an example for everyone else. Dawn begins to explain (again) about the progressive discipline policy. Rory cuts her off. If he can’t fire anyone, can he ban politics from he workplace?
What advice should Dawn give the Prez?
- She can give him a quick civics lesson about free speech.
- She can draft an email for him to send to all employees reminding them to do their jobs while on the clock.
- She can suggest that he should visit the gym more often to work off his aggression and grit his teeth for one more week.
The good news is that presidential elections happen every four years and we’ve got one more week to go. Then we’ll all go back to arguing about sports.
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