Author: Norma Shirk

My company, Corporate Compliance Risk Advisor, helps employers (with up to 50 employees) to create human resources policies and employee benefit programs that are appropriate to the employer’s size and budget. The goal is to help small companies grow by creating the necessary back office administrative structure while avoiding the dead weight of a bureaucracy.  To read my musings on the wacky world of HR, see my weekly blog HR Compliance Jungle (www.hrcompliancejungle.com) which publishes every Wednesday morning. To read my musings on a variety of topics, see my posts on Her Savvy (www.hersavvy.com).

Lunch with Leeann

Another update from the Jungle…..

Brenda made a hideous mistake today.  She agreed to have lunch with Laura, forgetting that Laura would invite Leeann.   

Leeann is a controller.  She isn’t bossy or pushy, but somehow everything moves at her pace. She shows up late for work most days, usually with a long explanation. The cat got sick. The dog got loose and she had to search the neighborhood for him.  The kids were sick.   Instead of telling her to get her lazy butt out of bed an hour earlier each workday, their idiot boss just shrugs.

Today, as usual, Leeann wandered around the office chatting about how much work she had to do.  Five minutes before they were to leave for lunch, Leeann remembered that she needed to return an important phone call.  It will only take a minute, Leeann assured them. Fifteen minutes later, Leeann was finally ready to go after a stop at the restroom. 

As they finally headed out the door, Leeann offered to drive because she needed to run an errand on the way back from lunch.  She dug into her giant, squishy purse for several minutes trying to find her car keys.  Brenda slid into the back seat feeling light-headed from rage, despair and hunger.

Leeann stared out the windshield and sighed. Then she dug through the console for her sunglasses. After another sigh and a seat adjustment, she finally backed out of the parking space.  Leeann paused at the exit to debate with Laura about where to go for lunch. 

Brenda lost patience and said loudly from the back seat, “Just pick one. I’m starving”.  Brenda’s stomach was growling so loud that the noise was audible to a passing pedestrian. 

After lunch, the trip back to the office detoured to a drugstore so that Leeann could drop off a medication for a refill.  As they waited in the drive-through lane that snaked around two sides of the drugstore, Brenda considered her options.

What options are available to Brenda?

  1. She can lean out the car window and scream, “Help! I’m being kidnapped!”     
  2. She can leap out of the car and call Uber or Lyft to take her back to the office.       
  3. She can make a mental note to never, ever have lunch with Leeann again. 

Every office has a Leeann.  To limit the productivity and morale hits caused by your office’s Leeann, set clear performance metrics.  Then apply a combination of coaching and progressive discipline until she either hits the required metrics or doesn’t.

If your company is struggling with HR issues, Corporate Compliance Risk Advisor can help you create HR policies that are appropriate for your company’s size and then serve as a resource to your staff as the policies are implemented.

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Join the HR Compliance Jungle today. Click here!

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Visit us: http://www.complianceriskadvisor.com/

You can also follow me at HerSavvy.com. My column appears the 3rd Tuesday of each month.

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Freedom from Rules

Another update from the Jungle…..

Linda opened her business one year ago when she was fed up with all the petty rules and employee bickering at her last job.  Her friends Julie and Rhonda joined her.  They agreed that their new business would be a happy place where workers were free to be creative and enjoy coming to work. That was the last time they agreed on anything.

Their infectious optimism enticed customers to try their products.  Soon they were overwhelmed with customers, but lacked the organizational structure to keep up. The storefront was in shambles and their workshop was littered with half-finished orders. 

After the usual 90-hour week, Rhonda skipped a day to catch up on her sleep. Since she neglected to tell the others, their shop was closed when a customer arrived to pick up her order.  When Linda returned to the office after making a delivery, the fuming customer taught her a few new words.  As soon as the offended customer left, Linda left a scathing voicemail on Rhonda’s phone, using some of the words she had just learned from the customer.

Two hours later, Rhonda galloped into the office. She screamed at Linda that she had been working non-stop for months and couldn’t take it anymore and wished she had never left her old job to work with such an ungrateful witch. Julie bounced out of the workshop to say that Linda’s rotten inability to set priorities was the cause of their problems.

Then Julie noticed that one of the customers was recording their fight with her cell phone.  Julie chased the customer around the store trying to grab her phone. The customer fled out the door with Julie still chasing her.  Rhonda collapsed onto the floor sobbing hysterically.

When Julie returned, the store was empty of customers. Linda announced that she was tired of not knowing where the other two were or what they were doing. 

What options are available to Linda?

  1. She can close the business and go live in a hut in the Rocky Mountains to get in touch with her feelings.   
  2. She can ditch her friends and start over with her worst enemy because, at least then, she would know what she’s getting. 
  3. She can adopt some basic HR policies to ensure the business can grow without imploding.

Most new business owners want to avoid written rules because they dislike bureaucratic boondoggles. They quickly learn that there is a huge difference between bogging down in bureaucratic rules and creating a framework of HR rules to allow the business to grow effectively.

If your company is struggling with HR issues, Corporate Compliance Risk Advisor can help you create HR policies that are appropriate for your company’s size and then serve as a resource to your staff as the policies are implemented.

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Visit us: http://www.complianceriskadvisor.com/

Little Miss Helpful

 Another update from the Jungle…..

Charlotte marched into the office determined to be cheerful. She turned on her computer and then trudged to the break room for a cup of coffee.  Fortified with caffeine, she sat down to read her emails. The opening sentence of the first email left her snarling.  That vicious little twerp!   

The email was from her co-worker, Hannah, asking Charlotte to send a packet of information to a customer. Her email implied that Hannah was once again saving a customer relationship. Naturally the email was copied to their supervisor, Cassie. 

Charlotte was furious. She had been working with that customer for months and had hand delivered the same packet of material several weeks earlier. She was scheduled for a follow up meeting with the customer tomorrow.   She would have explained all that if Hannah had talked to her.  But Hannah rarely coordinated her activities with Charlotte even though their projects often overlapped. 

The dupes in the office thought Hannah was sweet and helpful; they would never believe she intentionally screwed a co-worker.  Hannah didn’t fool Charlotte who recognized Hannah’s symptoms from an earlier point in her own career.  Hannah was young, insecure and she craved approval so that she could feel indispensable. 

After re-reading the email several times, Charlotte decided to wait to knock Hannah into orbit.   Charlotte’s years of experience in office politics made her realize that she’d only sound petty and bitchy if she complained.  She could be patient like a lion lurking in the tall grass waiting for lunch to trot by.

Later that morning at a staff meeting, Hannah droned on as usual reporting all her activities in excruciating detail. Charlotte day dreamed about non-lethal ways to settle the score with the nincompoop. Homemade fudge laced with laxative might hurt others. Boiling oil would ruin the carpet.  Maybe she could accidentally trip Hannah as they left the conference room.

Then she heard her name and blinked away such pleasantries.  Hannah was sanctimoniously reminding everyone in the room that she had asked Charlotte to follow up with the customer.  Cassie smiled fondly at Hannah and turned to raise an eyebrow to Charlotte.

What options are available to Charlotte?

  1. She could sarcastically explain that if Hannah ever bothered talking to her, the idiot would know Charlotte was already taking care of the customer.     
  2. She could start a catfight with Hannah to entertain their co-workers who had grown bored with the celebrity feuds on the internet.       
  3. She could recognize that Hannah’s misbehavior arose from fear and insecurity and let it go. 

Every workplace has insecure people who build themselves up by tearing down others. Rather than testing the limits of the workplace violence policy, use emotional intelligence to recognize the root cause of their obnoxious behavior so that you can calibrate your response appropriately. 

If your company is struggling with HR issues, Corporate Compliance Risk Advisor can help you create HR policies that are appropriate for your company’s size and then serve as a resource to your staff as the policies are implemented.

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Join the HR Compliance Jungle today. Click here!

Follow us on Facebook & Twitter!

Visit us: http://www.complianceriskadvisor.com/

You can also follow me at HerSavvy.com. My column appears the 3rd Tuesday of each month.

He Can’t Quit. He’s Fired!

Another update from the Jungle…..

Gene is mad as heck and he no longer cares who knows it. He slouches through the office emitting a fog of discontent as toxic as a radiation leak.  Gene has always been hot-headed and stubborn, so it took a couple of weeks before his co-workers realized something is different this time.

Gene’s attitude cratered a couple of weeks ago when he had another run-in with his manager, Eric.  Eric is almost as hot-headed and stubborn as Gene and they’ve clashed endlessly. If they would each take a moment to think before speaking, their differing skills would make them a great team. At least, that’s what the HR manager, Jan, believes. 

She’s spent so much time counseling them and resolving their bickering that she’s sick of both of them.  Of course, an HR manager can never admit that, so Jan continues smiling through gritted teeth.  But she’s on constant alert for the next explosion. 

The explosion duly comes at this morning’s staff meeting. Eric announces a new project and asks for suggestions on how to most efficiently complete the project.  At first, no one says a word as they try to decide if Eric is actually interested in their suggestions or just following a technique learned in his recent manager training. 

Gene looks at his co-workers, looks at Eric, and then launches into his suggestions for completing the new project.  As he talks, Eric’s jaw clenches and he takes a deep breath, preparatory to blasting Gene’s suggestions into orbit.    

Before Eric runs out of breath, Gene jumps up, knocking his chair into Dean’s elbow, causing Dean to spill his coffee. Dean leaps to his feet cursing fluently and swatting ineffectually at the coffee splotches on his slacks.

Gene bellows, “You’ve insulted me for the last time. I quit!”  He rips off his security ID badge and hurls it onto the table where it skitters into a water bottle knocking it over before bouncing up to ricochet off a light fixture.  Bodies lunge in all directions to avoid the ID badge and the water shower.   Gene stalks out the door of the conference room.

Eric bolts from the conference room straight into Jan’s office.  He glares at her, chest heaving and announces that he wants to fire Gene before the SOB can quit. 

What options are available to Jan?

  1. She can suggest that Eric and Gene settle their differences in the octagon ring like a couple of UFC fighters.   
  2. She can rejoice knowing that she’ll be free of their petty bickering because, one way or another, Gene is leaving.         
  3. She can begin the termination process and then meet with Gene to explain the consequences of a voluntary resignation. 

When co-workers can’t get along, larger companies may be able to transfer one of the feuding pair to another department.  Small employers often need to decide which employee is most valuable to the company and then terminate the other person’s employment.

If your company is struggling with HR issues, Corporate Compliance Risk Advisor can help you create HR policies that are appropriate for your company’s size and then serve as a resource to your staff as the policies are implemented.

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Join the HR Compliance Jungle today. Click here!

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Visit us: http://www.complianceriskadvisor.com/

The Thief of Ideas

Another update from the Jungle…..

Helen sat in her boss’ office stoically waiting for him to wind down from his latest temper tantrum.  As she waited, she reflected on the fact that Henry wasn’t such a bad boss when he was in his right mind.

Unfortunately, Henry was frequently not in his right mind.  He ran his company as if he was the dictator of a tiny oppressed country, but few of his employees were willing to be oppressed.  They complained incessantly to Helen, the HR manager.  She was hired because Henry knew he had a problem even if he wouldn’t admit that he caused the problem.

It’s the only company Helen’s ever worked for that required her to sign an employment contract agreeing to stay for at least one year in exchange for a giant bonus.  Before the ink dried on her signature, Helen realized it would be difficult to earn that bonus. 

She has been trying to fix employee morale. Her first suggestion, a tuition reimbursement plan, caused Henry to erupt like a Yellowstone geyser.  Why should he pay for his employees to get educated? He had built the company with hard work (and unacknowledged luck) and his employees should be willing to work as hard as him. 

A day later, Henry told Helen that he wanted her to create a program to reimburse tuition because he had big expansion plans and he needed his staff to keep up. But he insisted that employees must agree to stay until they had worked sufficient hours to generate profits equivalent to the reimbursed amount. He wanted to recoup his investment.  Henry’s switcheroo left Helen feeling dazed and confused. 

That’s how it’s gone for six months.  Helen proposes an idea; Henry shoots it down. More often than not, a few days later he adopts her idea after adding his unique twist.  Helen feels exhausted trying to manage him while maintaining her own sanity.  She is beginning to wonder if the big bonus is worth putting up with Henry’s negative energy field.

What options are available to Helen?

  1. She can occasionally demonstrate her softball batting skills by wapping Henry with her laptop when he gets too obnoxious.   
  2. She can do as little as possible for the next six months, collect her bonus and then wave goodbye to Henry.     
  3. She can use his contrariness to her advantage, suggesting changes in a way that allows Henry to believe the changes are his idea.

Bullies like Henry refuse to accept any idea unless they are convinced the idea was originally their own. Handling these types of co-workers and supervisors requires emotional maturity and the strength to refuse to be bullied.

If your company is struggling with HR issues, Corporate Compliance Risk Advisor can help you create HR policies that are appropriate for your company’s size and then serve as a resource to your staff as the policies are implemented.

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Join the HR Compliance Jungle today. Click here!

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Visit us: http://www.complianceriskadvisor.com/

Heck, No, You Can’t Go!

Another update from the Jungle…..

Fred was looking forward to a brilliant career. He’s young, educated and ambitious. His ambition has already helped him overcome the handicap of his parents naming him Rolex Fredericksburg, in honor of the city where he was conceived and his father’s favorite watch brand.  He graduated from college with honors and immediately landed a great job.

Of course, his brilliant career depends on getting past the Condor-sized buzzard he works for.  Randall seemed like a nice guy when Fred interviewed with him.  Randall rambled on at length about the training opportunities offered by the organization and how the organization believes in promoting from within. He bragged about his subordinates who have gone on to amazing careers.

Fred saw his brilliant future shimmering before him and immediately accepted Randall’s job offer.  He volunteered for special projects to gain experience and applied for every training course he could find.  Randall was overjoyed to have such an ambitious young man working for him and shoveled more projects on to Fred. 

Last week, Fred found another opportunity for advancement.  Of course, it would mean a temporary reassignment for two years to a distant office, but the additional experience and skills could ignite the trajectory of Fred’s career.  This morning, Fred meets with Randall to present his proposal.

Fred says he’ll return after two years and he’ll lead workshops to train others on what he learns during the two year reassignment. Randall stares blankly at him, then at the one page proposal. No, he says, evading Fred’s eyes, he can’t sign off on the proposal. Fred is much too valuable to the team to be lost for two years. Besides, there’s no guarantee, aside from Fred’s promise, that he will return to Randall’s department.

Fred glares stonily at Randall. His honesty and integrity are being questioned by the idiot who hired him less than a year ago.  His initial impulse is to jump up, run around the corner of the desk, and knock Randall into orbit.  Instead he excuses himself and walks out.

What options are available to Fred?

  1. He can slap the taste out of Randall’s mouth and tell HR he was temporarily insane with disappointment.
  2. He can begin a surreptitious campaign to push Randall into early retirement in order to clear the hurdle in his career path.
  3. He can quit at the first opportunity and pursue a brilliant career elsewhere.

In today’s tight labor market, employers who fail or refuse to invest in the development of their employees are likely to lose their best people to competitors who are willing to make the investment.   

If your company is struggling with HR issues, Corporate Compliance Risk Advisor can help you create HR policies that are appropriate for your company’s size and then serve as a resource to your staff as the policies are implemented.

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Join the HR Compliance Jungle today. Click here!

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Visit us: http://www.complianceriskadvisor.com/

Feeling Groovy

Another update from the Jungle…..

Marsha is too young to be an original hippie, but she does a great job channeling the 1960’s with peasant blouses and baggie pants or flowing skirts.  She likes herbal remedies, some of which she cooks up in her kitchen.  Her homemade dishes are the reason Wayne, the owner, now caters the potluck lunches for the office.

During Marsha’s eastern religions phase, the office reeked of sandalwood. Marsha said it helped her maintain her inner calm in the midst of life’s chaos. Since she lives in a state of perpetual crisis, none of her co-workers were convinced of the healing properties of incense. 

During her Native American phase, she decided to purify the office by burning sweet grass. Unfortunately, the bushel basket sized wad of smoldering foliage set off the sprinklers causing water to run out of the downstairs light fixtures.  Wayne is still fighting with the landlord to save his lease and with his insurer to cover the damages to the downstairs tenant’s office.

Marsha is an excellent worker when she focuses on her job, which is why Wayne didn’t fire her after the sweet grass fiasco.  Yet, he’s regretting his generosity because Marsha’s newest obsession is CBD oils. She says the oils have cured her anxiety, her forgetfulness and her insomnia. 

Marsha is so wrapped up in talking about the wonderful qualities of CBD oils that she sometimes forgets important deadlines. Two weeks ago, Wayne had to pour several scotches into the owner of a key client during an expensive dinner to convince him not to fire Wayne’s company. 

But Wayne’s life just got worse. Marsha now sells CBD oils.  Co-workers scatter at Mach speed when they see her toting a canvas bag with her product.  Last week Wayne ordered her to stop selling her oils on company time because he needs her to do the job he’s paying her to do.  Today he came into the office unexpectedly after a lunch meeting was canceled and found Marsha conducting a QVC-type demo of her oils for co-workers too slow to escape.

What options are available to Wayne?

  1. He can join Marsha as a latter day hippie and begin acting groovy.
  2. He can assign her to a virtual office to reduce her ability to interfere with the office routine.
  3. He can find a replacement and then hire a feng shui practitioner to purify the office after Marsha leaves.

 

CBD oils lack the chemical compounds that cause an hallucinogenic effect and so are not within the scope of drug use policies.  As long as usage doesn’t interfere with an employee’s ability to do her/his job, employers should take no action.  

If your company is struggling with HR issues, Corporate Compliance Risk Advisor can help you create HR policies that are appropriate for your company’s size and then serve as a resource to your staff as the policies are implemented.

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Join the HR Compliance Jungle today. Click here!

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Visit us: http://www.complianceriskadvisor.com/

I’ve Got My Eye on You

 Another update from the Jungle…..

Jayne accepted the first job offer after college because she was worried about making her student loan payments. She also wanted to prove to her parents that she could take care of herself.  In hindsight, Jayne wondered if living at home was really so bad because her new employer is insane.unnamed-5

During the endless rounds of interviews employees gushed about the joys of working for the company and its founder, Wesley, but Jayne was an English minor in college and she can read subtext. She quickly picked up on the jokes about timed bathroom breaks and monitored phone calls.

One young woman sheepishly admitted that she was busted for her negative comments on her personal Facebook page.  All the employees in that interview session laughed when Jayne said that she had heard that employees couldn’t be forced to provide access to their personal social media accounts to their employers. They assured Jayne that it was no big deal.unnamed-1

Jayne was young and desperate so she took the job despite feeling uncomfortable.  At orientation, she was required to sign a confidentiality agreement that allows the company to search her personal belongings at any time to ensure that confidential information is not stolen.     

Jayne’s discomfort zoomed into paranoia after she updated her LinkedIn profile with a description of her new job.  The next day, Rhoda, the HR Director, told Jayne that she had violated the company’s social media policy which covers postings on LinkedIn.

unnamedThe policy requires employees to include a statement that Wesley is a brilliant and inspiring boss and the employee is privileged to work for and learn from him.   Rhoda also told Jayne to change her head shot because it didn’t show her as a happy, loyal employee.  Jayne asked how she could show loyalty in a photograph. Rhoda shrugged. Jayne returned to her cubicle, a blob of raging paranoia.

What options are available to Jayne?

  1. She can stroll around the office humming the lyrics of a Buffalo Springfield song, “paranoia strikes deep/into your life it will creep”.
  2. She can embrace her paranoia and flit around the office in a Star Trek uniform talking to her co-workers about Klingons.
  3. She can hide in her cubicle pretending to work while she searches for a new job.

Most employers have social media policies setting parameters on what employees canunnamed-4 post and reserving the right to monitor employees’ social media for violations of the policy.  However, the more restrictive and intrusive these policies are the more likely that they will be found to have violated federal and state laws.

If your company is struggling with HR issues, Corporate Compliance Risk Advisor can help you create HR policies that are appropriate for your company’s size and then serve as a resource to your staff as the policies are implemented.

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Join the HR Compliance Jungle today. Click here!

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Visit us: http://www.complianceriskadvisor.com/

Exit Strategy

Another update from the Jungle…..

Millie is employed because her mom is friends with Janice, owner of the company.  Millie’s mom begged Janice to hire Millie and promised that Janice wouldn’t regret it. Janice agrees.

Millie learns of her new job when her mom tells her, that starting bright and early the following Monday, she will be working for Janice, but Millie doesn’t want a job. She wants to be an actress beloved by millions.

Late Monday morning, Millie floats into the office to find her new co-workers hard at work.  Janice takes Millie on a quick tour of the office, introducing her to everyone and explains basics, like the schedule and benefits. 

Millie perks up when she hears about the benefits. She says she needs to leave early the next day to go to an audition. She enthusiastically describes the play and how she expects this show will be her big break into professional acting.  She asks if she can give a provisional resignation now in case she has to pack for Broadway on short notice.

Recovering her composure, Janice explains that until the big break arrives, Millie may want to learn a few things about her current job.  Millie is uninterested in the job, but she soon realizes that Janice’s company can teach her plenty of new stuff that she can use to advance her career in the theatre.

A few weeks later, a couple of Millie’s co-workers discreetly approach Janice. They have been following Millie’s social media posts so that they can keep up with her acting career. They believe Millie is contacting prospects and clients of Janice’s company to invite them to support her career. 

Janice drops everything to take a quick spin through various social media platforms looking at Millie’s posts.  What she sees convinces Janice that it’s time to dump Millie at the curb.  In her haste to fire Millie, Janice forgets to protect her company’s data.

Within days, Janice realizes that Millie is still accessing her company’s systems.  Millie’s social media shows that she is using Janice’s documents and processes to build a rival business while waiting for her big break in the theatre.

What steps should Janice take next to protect her company?

  1. She can become Millie’s patron, underwriting her acting career as a way to obtain some return on her investment in Millie.
  2. She can call Millie’s mom to complain that Millie is a rotten kid.
  3. She can create a checklist of all company systems that need to be updated to terminate Millie’s access.

 Most employers have well-developed on-boarding processes, but pay less attention to their termination process.  A termination process can protect company resources from misuse by former employees.

If your company is struggling with HR issues, Corporate Compliance Risk Advisor can help you create HR policies that are appropriate for your company’s size and then serve as a resource to your staff as the policies are implemented.

 

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And That’s When I Snapped, Your Honor

Another update from the Jungle…

unnamed-239Sarah sat at her desk and pondered how she’d get rid of the body after she kills her youngest team member. The dumpster behind the building is a no-go; the police always dumpster dive for clues like dead bodies. There’s no swamp nearby either where she can hide the body. Sarah sighed.

Sarah didn’t plan to become homicidal. She has a tidy little business that makes money while allowing her to offer a few perks to her young staff. She knows she’s not a bad person but now thoughts of murder whirl in her brain. She wants to kill Taylor, a young millennial who is incredibly talented but has an infuriating habit of demonstrating a lack of common sense.

The problem surfaced months ago when Taylor sided with a client against Sarah in the middle of the client meeting. At the time, Sarah thought her hearing had gone wonky.

unnamed-237Sarah has always offered a lot of freedom to her staff because she believes that gets the creative juices flowing. But there’s a limit. So immediately after the client meeting, Sarah explained the importance of not disagreeing with the person who signs your paycheck, especially in front of clients. Taylor mumbled a sort of apology.

Since the disastrous client meeting, Taylor has alternated between sulky and charming. She complains about her schedule, her pay rate, and the obnoxiousness of certain clients. In short, Taylor is acting like a bratty teenager. Sarah secretly wonders if it’s cosmic payback for all the grief she gave her own mother during her teenage years.

Earlier today, Sarah allowed Taylor to attend a new client meeting because Taylor referred the prospect to Sarah. Taylor told the prospect that she was overworked for her pay rate, that Sarah’s fees were pricy for what was offered, and wrapped up by saying that she looked forward to working with the prospect. That’s when Sarah began contemplating murder.

What options are available to Sarah?

1. She can read a couple of true crime books to learn how to dispose of the body.
2. She can confine Taylor to a supporting role with no client contact so that she can salvage some of the value of Taylor’s skill set.
3. She can offer a severance package to Taylor in exchange for leaving the company.

Millennials were raised in an era when every child received a medal for participation rather than actual achievements. As a result, they may expect workplace rewards for routine performances. HR policies can’t explicitly fix such workplace assumptions but an on-boarding process and internal training can help adjust workplace expectations.

If your company is struggling with HR issues, Corporate Compliance Risk Advisor can help you create HR policies that are appropriate for your company’s size and then serve as a resource to your staff as the policies are implemented.

If your company is struggling with HR issues, Corporate Compliance Risk Advisor can help you create HR policies that are appropriate for your company’s size and then serve as a resource to your staff as the policies are implemented.

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Join the HR Compliance Jungle today. Click here!

Follow us on Facebook & Twitter!

Visit our website!