illegal drugs

Stop the Bus!

Another update from the Jungle….

Amber is enjoying an unusually slow day when Howard stops by to say hello. Amber is the HR director for a company that provides transportation services for musical acts. Howard is one of her favorite drivers because he’s done it all.

Howard started driving big rigs when they were still powered by gasoline. Over a 30-year career he’s driven flatbed, vans, tankers, and refrigerated or “reefer” vans.  A few years ago, Howard retired from driving big rigs but was soon bored sitting at home. So he signed up to drive a tour bus.

Howard takes the world as it comes, never getting too upset by what happens around him. But he doesn’t take any guff from anyone. That includes not allowing anyone to endanger his commercial driver’s license (CDL). Normally, that wouldn’t be a problem but today he’s telling Amber that his most recent assignment came close.

Howard says the band arrived at the pickup point in a Cadillac convertible.  Five guys with beards, long hair and tattoos crawled out of the Caddy, toting their musical instruments. A couple of them had hand-rolled cigarettes, reminding Howard of another definition of the term “reefer”.

As the band stowed their gear and instruments, Howard was approached by the lead singer, Bill.  Bill said the “boys” enjoy a little recreational smoking each day, and he wanted to make sure that Howard is “cool” with it. Howard replied that if anyone smells or sees contraband on the bus, he could lose his CDL because as the driver he is responsible for everything happening on the bus.

Of course, Howard remembered some of the crazy things he did as a young driver. Some of his adventures can never be repeated if he wants his children and grandchildren to continue to respect him. So he proposed a solution to Bill.

Howard offered to stop the bus whenever the band requested a break. Howard didn’t want to know why. He would simply pull off the interstate and drive the bus to a discreet location. He also suggested that when the boys got off the bus, they should walk around the corner where Howard couldn’t see them.

Howard reports to Amber that the process worked brilliantly for the entire tour. The band was happy and even treated the process like a game. Howard was happy because his CDL wasn’t endangered.

In the actual situation, the bus driver and the band engaged in “don’t ask, don’t tell” and everyone finished the tour in good spirits and as friends.

If your company is struggling with HR issues, Corporate Compliance Risk Advisor can help you create HR policies that are appropriate for your company’s size and then serve as a resource to your staff as the policies are implemented.

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Bad Blood

Another update from the Jungle….

unnamed-9Once upon a time, Rudy and Trish, a warlock and a witch, lived in a ranch-style suburban home next door to a werewolf named Jerry.  A few times a year Rudy put a hex on Jerry for tearing up Trish’s flower beds during the full
moon.  But usually they got on well at work and at home.unnamed-11

They all worked together at a big box store called Screams R Us, a Halloween themed business.  They often car pooled to work because they are environmentally conscious and wanted to reduce their carbon footprint.

unnamed-7Life is great until Ryan the leprechaun is hired at Screams R Us.  Ryan brags about his pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. He has iPhone photos of a pot of gold. Before long his co-workers are tired of him.  If he’s so rich, why the heck is he working at a big box store annoying them?

Aside from his endless bragging, Ryan is also a troublemaker. He encourages co-workers to speak freely.
Then he repeats every unkind comment, with his special brand of blarney, to the employee who is the subject of the commentsunnamed-10
He tells the vampire in the stock room that Rudy plans to set up a sunlamp to prove the vampire’s a fake. He tells Trish that Jerry thinks her dresses aren’t slinky enough and that’s why sales are down in her department. He tell Jerry that all his co-workers hate the way he sheds hair all over the break roounnamed-8m sofa.

Before a witch can twitch her nose magically, the entire workforce is plotting revenge against Ryan.  Rudy volunteers to put a hex on Ryan. Unfortunately the attempt fails when a teenaged customer walks into the magical snare and has a psychological episode that exposes his illegal drug use to his mother.  Trish creates an elixir that causes a skin rash and tries to spray it on Ryan while he works the cunnamed-12ash register. She misses Ryan and hits Jerry who now looks like he has mange.

The ogre who owns the business loses patience with all the tomfoolery because it’s affecting Halloween sales. He threatens to use his club on any employee who uses magic during business hours.  He tells Ryan that if there is one more complaint, he will be a smooshed leprechaun.
Ryan finally realizes that he is not popular with his co-workers.  So he digs into his pot of gold and gives each co-worker a gold piece in exchange for a truce until after Halloween.

Happy Halloween!

If your company is struggling with HR issues, Corporate Compliance Risk Advisor can help you create HR policies that are appropriate for your company’s size and then serve as a resource to your staff as the policies are implemented.


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