unorganized

Can We Speed It Up?

Another update from the Jungle…..

Susie shuffles into the conference room and slumps into a chair. Her boss, Alan, smiles from the other end of the table. He believes that Susie is a dedicated worker because she always arrives early for staff meetings. If he only knew! Susie shows up early to get a seat in the corner away from Alan so he won’t notice her total lack of interest.

Slowly, other employees shuffle in. They know the meeting will drag on with lots of wasted time, so there’s no point to being prompt. Alan continues waiting for the stragglers while Dana tells an inane story about her recent trip to the dog groomer. Alan finally calls the staff meeting to order twenty minutes late. He raises his voice to be heard over shuffling papers and private conversations.

Susie slumps lower in her seat. Next to her, David holds his phone below the table’s edge, playing Candy Crush. Susie glances around the table at her fellow sufferers. Tim and Cary are silently laughing at the same time, proof they are texting each other again.

A couple of months ago, Susie suggested timing speakers in hopes of speeding up the meetings. Alan was cool to the idea, probably because he likes to make rambling speeches himself. The worst offender is Dana, who says “um” and “uh” constantly while shuffling her papers and saying “what else did I do”, as if anyone cares. Susie decides that if Dana is as disorganized at home, she feels sorry for the dog.

Fred’s the lucky one. He’s temporarily banned from staff meetings after suddenly lurching to his feet while Dana was speaking and shouting, “I can’t take it anymore! Shut up, already!” Now, he cruises past the glass door to smirk at his co-workers who are stuck in the business equivalent of hell.

What options does Susie have to maintain her sanity through lengthy pointless staff meetings?

  1. She can suddenly roll off her chair onto the floor, feigning death in hopes that ends the meeting.
  2. She can play Candy Crush on her cell phone.
  3. She can accept that nothing will change and learn meditation techniques that enhance patience.

There are many ways to handle internal meetings, such as staff meetings to avoid wasting time. One method used by a retired Army general while working for a major retailer was to remove the chairs from the meeting room, forcing everyone to stand and deliver. His meetings ran on time and ended promptly after 15 minutes.

If your company is struggling with HR issues, Corporate Compliance Risk Advisor can help you create HR policies that are appropriate for your company’s size and then serve as a resource to your staff as the policies are implemented.

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Thanksgiving Magic

unnamed-7Another update from the Jungle….

Rudy and Trish, a warlock and a witch, decided to host a Thanksgiving party this year for friends and family.  After checking the calendar to verify the date of the full moon, they invite Jerry, the werewolf next door.

They also invite a few co-workers from their job at Screams R Us.  Ryan, the leprechaun, is invited after several arguments. Trish reminds Rudy that the leprechaun had given them each a gold piece and the Halloween truce is holding. So Ryan gets his invitation.unnamed-11

Several of Trish’s cousins fly in on their broomsticks the day before Thanksgiving. Normally they fly on Southwest Airlines, but Mercedes couldn’t bear the thought of standing in the long lines at airport security only to be cooped up with screaming children on a plane.

unnamed-14Mercedes announces upon arrival that she is now a vegan and won’t be eating any meat or animal-based foods. Rudy rolls his eyes at Trish, as if to say, she’s not from my side of the family.

Jerry is the first of the non-family guests to arrive since he only has to cross the lawn from the house next door. Mercedes thinks he’s sexy. She invites him to sit next to her on the sofa and explains how her life has improved since she dumped her second husband and took up veganism. Jerry squirms and looks around for someone to save him

He is saved by the arrival of Ryan, who’s already half crocked on Irish whiskey.  Whiskey always has a mellowing effect on Ryan until his belligerent phase sets in. Within minutes, he’s flirting with Mercedes. Ten minutes later Ryan’s leaping around thunnamed-13e living room teaching Mercedes an Irish jig.

Thanksgiving dinner is a rollicking affair with Ryan belting out bawdy songs between courses. Jerry joins in with a few songs of his own. Soon they are serenading the table between sips from Ryan’s bottle of special Irish blend.

unnamed-10Trish is outraged. She’s spent all week preparing a feast and no one’s eating. Trish summons her powers to put a spell on Ryan. Unfortunately, the spell clashes with the copious amounts of whiskey he’s imbibed. Ryan becomes belligerent.

A belligerent leprechaun in a room full of witches and warlocks is not good. Spells and counter spells fly around the room. The lights flash like a disco ball and the table begins to levitate.Before the entire house is trashed, Ryan falls down in a drunken stupor and goes to sleep. The witches and warlocks use magic to clean up the mess and Trish serves dessert.

Happy Thanksgiving!

If your company is struggling with HR issues, Corporate Compliance Risk Advisor can help you create HR policies that are appropriate for your company’s size and then serve as a resource to your staff as the policies are implemented.

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Low Hanging Fruit

Another update from the Jungle….

Jack owns a small business which provides him with a good living. He owns a big h2ouse with a giant mortgage and he drives an Escalade.  When he goes to the store, he parks in a handicap parking spot near the door so that everyone can see his ride.

Jack once worked for a major corporation where the HR director constantly nagged him about petty rules that he’d supposedly broken. After a few years of her nagging, Jack decided to be successful on his own.

Jack thinks his company runs smoother with fewer written rules so he doesn’t have any written HR policies. He also pays everyone a “salary” so he doesn’t have to track time and attendance.  But he docks the pay of employees who show up late or miss work. His CPA, Susie, wants him to create job descriptions to distinguish between non-exempt and exempt employees.   Jack tells her not to worry about it; he will tell her how much to pay each employee each pay period.

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Last week, Susie attended a continuing education seminar which struck her with the force of a hurricane wind. She learned details of the new overtime rules. A presenter also said the Department of Labor (DOL) had stepped up enforcement actions against small employers. He used the phrase “low hanging fruit” so often that Susie temporarily gives up fresh fruit and vegetables.

Susie rushes home to prepare a summary of the new overtime rules and hand delivers it to Jack.  Jack thanks her and privately thinks that Susie’s becoming a nag like the old HR director and it may be time to fire her.

This morning Jack arrives at his office to find a polite young man waiting to talk to him. The stranger says he’s a DOL examiner and he wants to see time sheets, payroll records and job descriptions for Jack’s employees.

What should Jack do next?

  1. He can bluster at the DOL examiner to mind his own business.
  2. He can beg the DOL examiner to give him time to fix his many problems in hopes of lowering the penalties his company will ultimately owe.
  3. He can sneak out the back entrance, empty the corporate bank account and escape to a foreign country that has no diplomatic relations with the U.S.

In the actual situation, the employer woke up to his peril before the DOL examiner arrived on his doorstep. He had already implemented a plan to fix his HR problems which convinced the DOL examiner to show mercy when calculating the penalties.   

If your company is struggling with HR issues, Corporate Compliance Risk Advisor can help you create HR policies that are appropriate for your company’s size and then serve as a resource to your staff as the policies are implemented.

Join the HR Compliance Jungle today. Click here!

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Visit us at: http://www.complianceriskadvisor.com/

Click here for a copy of my free Ebook 

Chaos Kills Morale

Chaos

Another update from the Jungle…

Jason felt lucky when he was hired about six months ago by Buckeroo, Ltd., a company that makes camping gear for outdoor types. During the hiring process the sales pitch by the HR representative and his soon-to-be manager sounded wonderful.  Of course, anything would have sounded good to Jason who was unemployed for almost a year.

Jason came to work his first day anticipating a rosy future with a great job and a great boss. Two weeks later his great boss, David, left the company for another job.  One of Jason’s co-workers, Teresa, became his boss. Her promotion caused all but one of Jason’s co-workers to leave. The remaining co-worker reminded Jason of Dilbert’s Wally, a guy picking up a paycheck but not working.

A month into the new job, Jason went to see Martha, the HR rep, to ask what had happened to his paycheck.  Martha spun a confused tale about “glitches” caused when the company changed payroll service vendors.  By the end of her convoluted explanation, Jason felt relieved that he would actually be paid eventually.

In addition to his payroll problems, Jason is annoyed by a steady stream of requests to complete HR paperwork.  Martha repeatedly calls Jason to her office to complete forms that he is certain he already filled in during his orientation.  Jason isn’t the brightest guy but he’s beginning to wonder about Buckeroo’s organizational savvy.

Chaos 2Yesterday, Martha emailed Jason to remind him to complete the company’s required web-based training. Martha copied the email to Teresa and seemingly every member of senior management. Jason’s had enough.

He emails that he hasn’t done the training because he never received a password to access the on-line training. He hits “reply all”.   This morning, Teresa called Jason to her office to chew him out for “making her look bad” by copying her bosses on his email yesterday.  Jason stares at Teresa.

What should Jason do next?

  1. He can point out to Teresa that he didn’t create the email cc list and he won’t be blamed for failures beyond his control.
  2. He can tune out Teresa’s rant and mentally revise his resume so that he doesn’t lose any time in looking for another job.
  3. He can accept that the company lacks systems to operate efficiently which means employees will waste time repeating tasks.

In the actual situation, the company muddled along for years refusing to adopt systems or processes to improve efficiency.  The muddling caused high turnover and low employee morale.  Eventually, the company was bought by a competitor.

If your company is struggling with HR issues, Corporate Compliance Risk Advisor can help you create HR policies that are appropriate for your company’s size and then serve as a resource to your staff as the policies are implemented.

Ebook Link: https://njshirk12.files.wordpress.com/2015/03/skh-employee-theft.pdf

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