Another update from the Jungle….
a woman
named Trish was searching for true love. Like so many others, she found it at the office. Her Prince Charming was John, Vin another division of the company. John was also looking for true love having just wrapped up a nasty divorce with his former true love
Trish met John at the office Christmas Party and thought he was a jerk. She changed her mind at the summer picnic when she saw him playing with his kids and lobbing water balloons at other managers. John looked like an Olympic athlete compared to some of the other managers.
So when John’s division needed a little extra help with a special project, Trish volunteered. By diligent effort, Trish made herself a star on John’s team and managed to catch his eye. A shared interest in the project led to a little flirting which led to long dinners and then to other extracurricular activities.
Alas, as with every fairy tale a curse fell upon the lovers. John’s schedule kept him busy with out of town business trips and Trish began to feel neglected. John tired of her whining over the dinner wine about how his career meant more to him than she did, giving John nasty flashbacks to his ex-wife’s complaints.
As in a fairytale, when a workplace romance fizzles people behave badly. John stopped responding to her emails and text messages. He also told Trish’s boss that Trish could never work in his division again because she was a lousy worker. Meanwhile, Trish’s performance nosedived as she realized her fairy tale was fizzling.
The final fizzle arrives when Trish hears through the grapevine that John is blacklisting her. She’s convinced its retaliation for their affair. When her boss counsels her about her cratering performance, Trish remembers that he is John’s friend. Trish storms into Sue’s office to complain about sexual harassment and retaliation.
What options are available to Sue?
- She can slap the taste buds out of John’s mouth for being stupid since managers are expected to use their brains to make decisions at the office.
- She can recommend settling Trish’s claims to limit the damage caused by John’s violations of company policy.
- She can disguise the details and include them in her next popular bodice-ripper novel, which she hopes will earn her enough money to retire early.
In the actual situation, the manager was counseled for violating HR policies and wrecked his chances at a promotion. The woman accepted a settlement of her claims and left the company still looking for true love.
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But fairy tales aren’t the only places with evil beings. A wicked witch named Wanda also works in the office. Wanda’s not qualified to do the job Alanis was hired for but that doesn’t stop her from trying to take over. Wanda smiles in Alanis’ face even as she secretly sharpens her talons.
incompetent. 
assigned to work with the HR department because the other lawyers don’t want to. She inherits a file cabinet full of pending EEOC discrimination claims. Another giant file cabinet contains investigation notes of employee theft cases. Apparently anything not too big or nailed down tight is carried off by employees. 
Marcella was happy to find a friend like Barry when she joined her new employer. He seemed like such a nice guy, interested in mentoring younger co-workers like her. Barry was a big help to her as she navigated the internal politics of her new employer.
that she can have time off to go to court to deal with her son’s drug problem. Marcella’s shocked; her son doesn’t have a drug problem. Other co-workers stop by during the next few days to offer support.
Julia, the HR manager, is watching her company’s diversity and inclusion program go hideously wrong. Julia pushed every level of management all the way to the C-suite, urging them to broaden the pool of employees eligible for promotion to management. What did all her effort get her? Margaret.
any actions they take are likely to be undermined by Margaret. Most of them are applying for transfers away from her.
Nicole, the HR manager, had a scary Halloween with underclad co-workers and a wild Veteran’s Day that ended with claims of discrimination. She is finding it increasingly difficult to boost morale among her fellow employees. She’s trying to boost morale because her co-workers are disenchanted after years of no pay raises and limited opportunities for promotions.
Nicole, the HR manager, is planning another morale boosting event. Her first effort was the Halloween party a couple weeks ago which ended on a sour note when some of the costumes exceeded her expectations and the president’s tolerance.
illegal drugs because everyone knows that heroin comes from poppies. Nicole retorts that everyone knows red poppies symbolize the military dead in World War I. Shaken but undeterred, Nicole finishes the decorations as people wander in for lunch.
Cindy is the HR director for her company because she is a good listener and she can handle obnoxious people. She got the job because the owner hates conflict (and he’s one of the obnoxious people, although no one likes to mention this). Cindy listens patiently to her distressed co-workers, dispenses Kleenex and aspirin as needed, and generally puts an optimistic spin on the worst calamities.
HR Compliance Jungle 