Check Out Time

Another update from the Jungle…

unnamed-230Bettysue loves the holiday season but this year she’s frustrated. Her children are grown and have other plans so they won’t be coming home. Her husband just says, “sure, honey, whatever” when she asks his opinion. Her husband has long-since concluded that the secret to their marriage is to keep his mouth shut, stock up on suitable beverages, and hide in his man-cave until after the Super Bowl game.

So Bettysue spends her working hours plotting how best to spread holiday cheer. This year, she decided that her workplace should have a multicultural party. She’s not deterred by the fact that the workforce has little religious or cultural diversity.

Her boss, Deena, has long-since concluded that letting Bettysue decorate the office is the most profitable use of Bettysue’s time since she clearly doesn’t have her mind on work. A couple of years ago, Deena insisted that Bettysue ought to actually do her job despite the seasonal slush. The results were so awful that Deena had to meet with her mental health counselor every day in the following January. Deena now sees the holiday excesses as a cost of doing business.

unnamed-227Bettysue’s coworkers have enthusiastically joined in because decorating beats working any day of the week. Now miniature menorahs, fake Yule logs, and a plastic Christmas tree create a fire hazard in the elevator lobby. A Kwanzaa fruit broom serves as a seasonal centerpiece in the middle of the conference room table.

Multicolored tinsel adorns every doorway and most cubicle entrances. A sprig of mistletoe was tacked over the breakroom door until Arlene, the HR director, yanked it down, muttering about sexual harassment.

unnamed-233However, most of Bettysue’s time at work is devoted to buying things online. Her Amazon Prime deliveries now exceed regular business deliveries to her employer. FedEx, UPS, and the post office have offered to set up a mini hub at the building to handle the volume of deliveries.

What should the company do next year?

  1. They could have a daily party since none of their employees are working anyway.
  2. They could shut down for two weeks in late December since no one is working.
  3. They could pay a bonus to volunteers who agree to provide minimal customer service while the office shuts down during the seasonal distractions.

Many non-retail companies either shut down at the end of December for two weeks or allow most employees to use vacation/PTO during that time. Employers believe this policy improves morale and productivity in the first quarter of the next year.

If your company is struggling with HR issues, Corporate Compliance Risk Advisor can help you create HR policies that are appropriate for your company’s size and then serve as a resource to your staff as the policies are implemented.

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What Are We Thankful For?

Another update from the Jungle….
image049Nicole, the HR manager, had a scary Halloween with underclad co-workers and a wild Veteran’s Day that ended with claims of discrimination. She is finding it increasingly difficult to boost morale among her fellow employees. She’s trying to boost morale because her co-workers are disenchanted after years of no pay raises and limited opportunities for promotions.

Her newest morale booster is a Thanksgiving lunch. She even convinces the company’s president to pay for the turkey and dressing. Now all she has to do is convince her co-workers to bring side dishes and prepare to have fun. She tapes a sign-up sheet to the refrigerator in the break room.

Before anyone can sign up, Steve stops by her office to demand beer with lunch. Nicole vetoes alcohol, as usual. She tells Steve that he seems unhappy and asks if he’d be happier working for another type of employer, such as a honkytonk or a house of ill repute in the Nevada desert.image051

Then Monica pops into Nicole’s office to announce that she has just become a vegan because living off animals is disgusting. Monica wants vegan-acceptable food at the Thanksgiving lunch. Nicole replies that Monica can bring a side dish that satisfies her new dietary requirements, as long as it’s not kale or cabbage or a similarly aromatic vegetable.

Next a delegation of employees crowds in to Nicole’s office. The Hispanics are still furious about the Veteran’s Day event when a co-worker suggested building a wall on the southern U.S. border. Now they complain that Thanksgiving completely ignores their cultural heritage. Sam Redhawk complains that Thanksgiving is racist for celebrating the extermination of Native American culture. The gist of the complaints is that they feel unappreciated and marginalized.

What should Nicole do next?

  1. She can tell her co-workers to shut up and be thankful they still have jobs.
  2. She can strive to make Thanksgiving lunch a celebration of multi-cultural America, encouraging everyone to bring a side dish that represents their cultural origins.
  3. She can tell the president there are serious morale issues that can’t be fixed with food and that he should watch “Mutiny on The Bounty” if he wants to preview the end of the story.

If you’re an HR manager, you’ve probably had a year like Nicole’s year. The holiday season isn’t over yet so stay tuned for more adventures with Nicole.

If your company is struggling with HR issues, Corporate Compliance Risk Advisor can help you create HR policies that are appropriate for your company’s size and then serve as a resource to your staff as the policies are implemented.

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Happy New Year!

Another update from the HR jungle….
image031Sue, our trusted HR director, is back from her cruise with a nice tan and a bit of a hangover from the rum. She’ll put in a couple of days at the office during the week between Christmas and New Year’s Day after blowing all her paid leave on the cruise.

At her company, not much happens between Christmas and New Year’s Day. The only people working are the ones who blew all their paid leave earlier in the year or those who want to impress the bosses with their dedication to the job.

Sue plans to spend her time working on her goals for next year. She thought about these goals while on her cruise. First, she’ll start compiling the list of proposed updates to the company’s HR policies. This will take some time since she needs to estimate the cost to complete each project.

Then she’ll research the admittance requirements at the local college where she hopes to enroll in the spring. Getting a formal degree to confirm what she’s learned on the job is a big step in her career.

Whatever your work situation, have a safe and enjoyable holiday.

Happy New Year!

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Happy Holidays!

Another update from the HR jungle….


Sue, our trusted HR director, is still enjoying her cruise in the sun with the rum. It took her a week to stop thinking about the office, but she’s finally in full vacation mode. Her tan is coming along nicely and the cruise staff supplies never-ending refills of rum and fruit.

Sue will celebrate Christmas on the ship, far from irritations like some of her co-workers and (dare we say it) some of her extended family. She hasn’t had it this good in years.

Most of us won’t be able to take a holiday cruise or avoid (dare we say it) certain members of our extended families. Have an extra glass of eggnog or wassail and remember it is a once-a-year ritual. Mixed in with the annoyances are so many people we want to spend time with and many special seasonal events.

Happy Holidays!

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