Spring Fever

Another update from the Jungle…..

It’s been a long, hard winter at Melanie’s company, with employees stuck in snow drifts or struck down by the flu. Melanie began wondering if her company could survive as deadlines were missed due to under-staffing.

Then, the sun came out, forsythia and daffodils began blooming. Trees showed an aureole of red as they began budding. People shed their heavy winter coats. Alas! A cold snap killed the daffodils, and left everyone twitchy as spring never seemed to arrive.

Dan’s an optimist, and he’s been trying to think at work and practice his golf swing simultaneously, getting ready for spring. Two days ago, as he thought about his brilliant ideas, he swung higher and faster. Suddenly, a horrible thud echoed through the office, followed by a crash and a scream.

Melanie dashed out of her office to find Randy sprawled on the floor, clutching his bleeding face. Dan knelt beside him, trying to stop the bleeding while stuffing his golf club under his desk. Melanie hauled Randy to his feet and marched him out the door to her car to drive him to the emergency room. Hours later, she returned to report that Randy needed stitches but would be okay. She banished Dan’s golf clubs from the office unless they were locked, out of sight, in his personal vehicle.

Today, Randy returned to work and accused Dan of trying to kill him. While Melanie tried to mediate their fight, she heard Karla yelling at Teresa about stinky take-out food. Teresa retorted that her garlicky take-out was less offensive than Karla’s cheap perfume fumigating the place, and then proceeded to point out Karla’s dark roots showing because she was too cheap to pay for a salon dye job.

Melanie sailed in to separate Karla and Teresa, closely followed by Dan and Randy, hoping to see the office equivalent of a mud wrestling match. Eventually, everyone grumpily returned to their desks to sulk.

What can Melanie do to alleviate her employees’ spring fever?

  1. She can sit in her office, occasionally venting a primal scream of frustration, and hope that scares her employees into doing their jobs.
  2. She can buy cheap rum and fruit juice for her staff and tell them to pretend they’re on a beach in an island paradise.
  3. She can plan an impromptu outing to take her employees’ minds off their troubles as they wait for spring to actually arrive.

Everyone gets cabin fever waiting for sunshine and getting outdoors after months of dreariness and cold weather. HR and management can help with morale boosters to lift everyone’s spirits.

If your company is struggling with HR issues, Corporate Compliance Risk Advisor can help you create HR policies that are appropriate for your company’s size and then serve as a resource to your staff as the policies are implemented.

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