Hey, Y’all, I’d Like A Job

Another update from the Jungle….

It’s been a long day and Mary is catching up on her emails. As she deletes all the unsolicited introductions from sales people trying to sell her stuff she either doesn’t want or can’t afford, she wonders again if she was completely nuts to open her own business.

When she’s not avoiding obnoxious sales pitches, she’s dealing with job seekers. She can track the college graduation season simply by the number of unsolicited emails she receives. She rarely reads the attached resumes because of the first impressions created by the emails. The smart graduates use proper grammar and complete sentences in their emails. The smartest graduates actually look at her company website to see what kind of business she runs.

She sighs and clicks on the next email. Its contents strike her so forcibly that she takes a big swig of her single malt scotch. She glances out the window to see if it’s a full moon; it’s not. It’s also too early for the solar eclipse. No natural phenomenon explains the email she’s reading.

The email says, “Hey, y’all, I just graduated from college and I’d love to come work for you if you’ve got an opening. If you don’t have any jobs right now, please keep me in mind when you do. Thx, Candace.”

Mary’s received some strange introductions from job-seekers. She was once chased two city blocks until she realized the crazy man running after her wasn’t a stalker; he was trying to hand deliver his resume.  She’s had friends ask her to hire their college-aged children because some of those young people are otherwise unemployable.

Mary knows that millennials are much more informal than her generation of workers. But Candace’s email introduction surely takes the prize.  This clueless waif graduated from college without ever learning how to present herself to a potential employer.

What should Mary do next?

  1. She can hit delete and ignore Candace because it’s not her responsibility to teach millennials how to apply for a job.
  2. She can drink more scotch and save the email for the bad days when she needs a quick laugh.
  3. She can remember her own job-hunting mistakes and email Candace some kind advice on how the power of first impressions affects gainful employment.

Informality is preferable to the strict workplace hierarchies of the past that stifled innovation and creativity. However, informality should never cross the line into disrespect. HR can help by encouraging college placement offices to teach soon-to-be-graduates how to properly approach prospective employers.

If your company is struggling with HR issues, Corporate Compliance Risk Advisor can help you create HR policies that are appropriate for your company’s size and then serve as a resource to your staff as the policies are implemented.

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The Slob Next Door

Another update from the Jungle….


Judy was excited about her new job. She targeted the company for employment after reading the corporate social responsibility blurb on their company website. During the interviewing process, the HR people seemed impressed by her accomplishments and she was impressed by their description of the charitable causes supported by the company.

Judy moved into a cubicle with a window view (of the parking lot) and prepared to work for a company with a conscience. Judy set to work with energy and enthusiasm, sure that she had found the perfect employer. But, alas for Judy, the dream job quickly ended. A slob moved into the cubicle next to hers.

The slob’s cubicle overflowed with work papers, empty candy bar wrappers and gum wrappers. The slob guzzled caffeinated drinks all day and left the empty cans lying around his cubicle, creating a sticky mess that oozed into the corridor between rows of cubicles.image021

All those caffeinated drinks also made the slob twitchy. He thumped and bumped against the cubicle walls so that Judy sat in a mini earthquake zone. The slob listened to music on his iPhone but even with headphones, everyone in a ten-foot radius could clearly hear the music. The slob often cracked his gum in time to the music.

Judy made several attempts to politely ask the slob to turn down the volume on the iPhone, to not crack his gum, and to not hit the wall between their cubicles. Each time the slob apologized but promptly ignored her requests. Finally, Judy asked her boss to move her to a cubicle far away from the slob. Her boss told her to ask HR.

The HR rep said no other cubicles were available. She implied that Judy was not a team player after Judy pointed out that the slob was violating several HR policies on cubicle etiquette. Then the HR rep suggested that Judy should try to “work something out” with the slob. Judy left the HR meeting convinced that no one in authority cared about the slob next door.

What are Judy’s options?

  1. She can train the slob the same way she trained her dog, spraying him with water each time he engages in “bad” behavior.
  2. She can learn meditation techniques to help her deal calmly with the slob.
  3. She can ask whether she wants to work for a company that brags about corporate responsibility while allowing a slob to ignore company policy and annoy co-workers.

If your company is struggling with HR issues, Corporate Compliance Risk Advisor can help you create HR policies that are appropriate for your company’s size and then serve as a resource to your staff as the policies are implemented.

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