Another update from the Jungle…..
Amber sits at her desk sorting through paperwork when Tom walks in and slumps in the chair across from her. Amber is the HR director for a company that provides transportation services for musical acts. Tom is one of the bus drivers. He stops by to give Amber an update about his recent month-long trip driving a rockabilly band around Texas.
The rockabilly band consists of 20-somethings who recently signed their first 
professional contract. The tour was to build buzz about their new album. The band members were as excited as school children, staring out the windows as the passing scenery. At the first roadhouse, they leaped off the bus, grabbed their instruments, and prepared to sing.
By the third night on the road, the band was already wearing down, probably due to their diet of soda, chips, and wine coolers. They slept on the bus as Tom drove to the next roadhouse or honkeytonk bar. At the end of the first week, the band trooped tiredly off the bus each time it stopped at a new venue.
During the second week, their schedule took them to San Antonio, a grand old city with many tourist attractions. 
Between performances, the band decided to explore the bars on the Riverwalk. Later no one could remember exactly what they did but they all agreed they had a great time. Then they got back on the bus for the next leg of the tour.
After the San Antonio stop, the tour became a grind of road houses and bars. Nursing hangovers and a lack of sleep, the chatter and enjoyment of the first week was a distant memory. By the final week of the tour, the band members snarled at each other.
Denver, the youngest band member, often came to the front of the bus to stare out the windshield at the flat, dusty 
landscape. One day, after several minutes of staring, Denver asked where they are. Tom was as tired of the road as the band. Without taking his eyes off the road, he replied to Denver, “What difference does it make to you? When the bus stops, you’ll get off and play. Until then, shut up and go sit down”.
In the actual situation, the bus driver really did tell a band member to shut up and sit down. The band also successfully built buzz about their album and enjoyed a brief spell on the top 40 playlist.
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Every morning since the holidays, Alyssa drags herself into work wishing she didn’t have to show up. She’s the HR manager for her company and she knows that her co-workers have a host of problems. She has a few of her own. Alyssa is expecting trouble on Friday, at the inauguration of the new president.
o-workers. Leigh Ann says her nerves are shattered by the sexist comments of several co-workers. Jake claims the same co-workers mocked his lifestyle choices, including his multi-colored hair and thick glasses. They demand that Alyssa transfer the offending co-workers to a more suitable section of cubicle-world, such as next to bathrooms.
Co-workers were placing bets on who would win the fight when Rosemary, a manager, ran into the breakroom and spoiled the fun. She threw a tray of ice cubes at Javier and Ryan to cool them off and then ordered them to follow her to Alyssa’s office. Alyssa is now trapped in her office with Rosemary, Javier and Ryan.
ual griping very soon.
Jane drags herself into work the first day after the holidays, not sure whether she wants to be here. She’s the HR manager for her company and she knows that her co-workers will return with a host of problems. She has a few of her own.
announce that she planned to take an around the world trip with Frederik, a gigolo she met on her most recent Caribbean cruise. Jane’s daughter wants to ditch her senior year in high school to join a religious commune. On Christmas Day, the Christmas lights shorted out causing a fire that scorched half the front porch.
Doris is complaining that another manager interfered with Doris’ subordinates. The other manager, Lara, is a relatively new hire and Doris is “concerned” that Lara doesn’t understand that Doris makes all the decisions in her department. Doris demands that Jane tell Lara to stay away from Doris’ department or face immediate dismissal.
Jane sighs heavily. People who don’t know Doris well think she’s charming. She has perfect clothes, hair, makeup and a smile. But Jane knows that image is no more than Hollywood special effects. Underneath, Doris is as vicious as a junk yard dog when it comes to defending her turf. She bullies anyone she sees as a threat to her career.
After the fiasco of their Thanksgiving dinner, Rudy and Trish decide they will skip a holiday party this year. Even a warlock and a witch need a break. Jerry, the werewolf next door, offers to host a holiday party, but they turn him down. Every surface in Jerry’s house is covered in dog hairs and Trish is a finicky witch who doesn’t like the way the dog hairs stick to her clothing.
hosting a Christmas party for employees. Trish immediately complains to the HR manager that calling it a Christmas party interferes with her religious beliefs as a pagan. She threatens to take concerted action with the other witches to protect her workplace rights.
Trish brings sugar cookies shaped like pentagrams. She’s added a magic spell that increases the eater’s happiness. After eating a cookie, the HR manager smiles benevolently at her coworkers.
rily. As he passes the buffet table, he snatches one of Trish’s cookies and gulps it down in two bites.
As the holiday season kicks in, Anne isn’t feeling very happy. In fact, she’s depressed. She’s struggling to pay her bills after a couple of unexpected expenses, including a burst water pipe in her basement.
er was nagging her about taking a trip to Hawaii.
Anne doesn’t want to think about military sacrifices right now. Her oldest son is on active duty and she learned last week that he is being deployed to Iraq. Anne always knew this day would come but it’s still a shock.
Pearl Harbor were also repaired and used for the remainder of the war.
Dexter’s always prided himself on being a team player. He’s lost count of the number of times he covered for his boss, Dale, or stayed late to finish a project on a short deadline.
Dexter found the job ad on the internet after he noticed a stack of resumes to Dale’s desk during one of their meetings. Dexter asked if the company was planning to expand the department by adding a new hire. Dale’s wishy-washy response leaves Dexter less than convinced that he has his boss’ support.
ng when he returned to work, he couldn’t sign on to the company database. He frantically called tech support and learned that the company’s systems were subjected to a cyberattack and his passwords must be reset. Dexter would have known if he’d checked his business emails which he now refuses to do since he lost his reimbursement.
Another update from the Jungle….
Mercedes announces upon arrival that she is now a vegan and won’t be eating any meat or animal-based foods. Rudy rolls his eyes at Trish, as if to say, she’s not from my side of the family.
e living room teaching Mercedes an Irish jig.
Trish is outraged. She’s spent all week preparing a feast and no one’s eating. Trish summons her powers to put a spell on Ryan. Unfortunately, the spell clashes with the copious amounts of whiskey he’s imbibed. Ryan becomes belligerent.
Dawn, the Chief Talent Officer for her company is happy for the first time in months. The election is over! The chips have fallen. She no longer cares who won.
half is snarling that the election was rigged. Dawn sighs deeply and wades into the group, greeting everyone by name. To encourage them to actually enter the building, she promises something “special” for lunch at company expense.
Dawn calls a local bakery to order a cake for the impromptu TGIO party. Apparently, many people are having TGIO parties because the bakery sold out of cakes. Dawn orders a mix of crème puffs and cookies. She is determined to have a cheerful lunch.
difference between the popular vote and the Electoral College vote. Dawn cuts him off in mid-sentence. She has a really important job for him, she says. She needs him to go to the local big box store to buy supplies for the party. She’ll reimburse him, she promises.
Dawn, the Chief Talent Officer for her company, is slogging through the remaining weeks of the political campaign. She hates what it’s done to her job. This week she’s thinking of changing her title to Chief Tortured Officer
to show up every morning to depress Dawn with her worries that the election will degenerate into violence and mayhem.
The workforce is as divided as the nation and it’s getting ugly. Yesterday Rory broke up a fight in the employee parking lot. The Trump and Clinton supporters were trying to rip the opposing candidate’s stickers off car bumpers. Rory waded in, knocked a few heads together and ordered everyone back to work.
t the candidates and their families. Then they stand around arguing about what they’ve read.
HR Compliance Jungle 