Another update from the Jungle….
Addy graduated from college and went to work for the government agency where she had interned as a student. Of course, there’s a big difference between being an intern and becoming an employee. As an intern, Addy was excluded from most office social events because she was underage.
A few months after accepting the job offer, the big bosses decided representatives of each branch office of the agency should receive intensive training away from the usual office distractions. They decided that the perfect spot for learning is New Orleans. Addy prepared for her first business trip.
Nick, the head of Addy’s office, got into the spirit of learning before they left town. He distributed the bosses’ agenda at a staff meeting. Then he told the attendees that he knew a great place in the French Quarter and that he would play tour guide as soon as they checked in at the hotel.
Two hours after the airplane landed, Addy followed her co-workers down a dark alley in the French Quarter to Nick’s “great place.” The fun began. As a recent college graduate, Addy considered herself a seasoned drinker. She soon realized she was an amateur.
Addy doesn’t remember many details after the first bar, but she knows she had a good time. She later saw how good a time when she was invited to the HR manager’s office to view cell phone video of what she didn’t remember doing in the French Quarter.
The video shows a gaggle of staggering zombies in a karaoke bar, all dancing to a different beat as they belt out the same song. In the background, Addy recognizes her supervisor in a passionate embrace with a co-worker. Front and center in the video is Nick gyrating madly, his hand waving through his unzipped fly. Nick is totally sozzled, barely able to stand.
The HR manager says she invited Addy in for a chat as part of the usual on-boarding process for new hires. How should Addy respond to the HR manager?
She can say that she’s enjoying learning from her more experienced co-workers.- She can ask for copies of the video in case she needs to blackmail her bosses later. (Addy’s a quick learner of office politics.)
- She can stare blankly like a little lost waif and wait for the HR manager to give her a clue about how to respond appropriately.
The antics outlined in this scenario have been changed to protect innocent waifs like your author. Surely, no government employees near you would ever misbehave during a training seminar.
If your company is struggling with HR issues, Corporate Compliance Risk Advisor can help you create HR policies that are appropriate for your company’s size and then serve as a resource to your staff as the policies are implemented.
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Finding the “right” employee is one of the most difficult tasks for any company. There will always be job applicants with the skills and expertise required for the job. But will the new hire fit in well with the existing team? A technically skilled person is so much dross if she or he has a toxic personality that destroys team morale.
In World War II, U-boat captain Peter “Ali” Cremer was concerned about how new crew members would fit in with his existing crew. U-boats were claustrophobically tiny. There was no privacy and no room to separate crewmen if a dispute arose. Meanwhile, U-boats took weeks-long patrols looking for Allied convoys and risking enemy attacks.
At the same time, Cremer was consistent in his approach to the job (i.e., his corporate culture). Every crew member was treated with respect and discipline was enforced the same for everyone. No unnecessary risks were taken with the boat or the crew. Across the fleet, every U-boater knew that Cremer always brought his crew back alive. That was important since only 10% of U-boaters survived the war.
For more information about Peter Cremer, check out his memoirs 
Chaos Cathy is a good worker when she pays attention to her job. Too bad she spends most of her time picking fights with her co-workers. One week she complains about a co-worker’s perfume. Another week she complains about loud voices talking on the phone.
Chaos Cathy’s whining is a symptom of her perpetual competitiveness. She complains that her cubicle is smaller than the cubicles of her peers. After weeks of drama, her manager finally agrees to find another cubicle. But the new cubicle has no window. True, the window in her current cubicle offers only a view of the trash bins behind the building.
Wanda is weary because she’s got to listen to Chaos Cathy’s constant whining while also getting an earful from Cathy’s annoyed co-workers.
A week later, Chaos Cathy is back. Now she’s complaining that her manager has encouraged his other subordinates to abuse her for exposing his incompetence. Chaos Cathy launches into a convoluted description of abusive co-workers, travel to Mars, and stinky perfume from the next cubicle to prove her boss is incompetent and prejudiced.
In the actual situation, the complaining employee’s insubordinate behavior towards her manager escalated until her employment was terminated. She unsuccessfully sued for wrongful termination.
Building a successful team is never easy. Managers and business owners who hire “yes-men” tend to ride their egos and a false consensus to financial ruin. On the other hand, having too many different opinions can paralyze decision-making and cause companies to fall apart. What should an intelligent manager or business owner do?
Hamilton wanted a strong central government and an industrialized economy. Jefferson wanted a weak central government with most power residing with the states and an economy based on agriculture. These conflicting visions of America are as strong today as they were over 200 years ago.
Washington kept his feuding Cabinet members functioning as a team, and he did it while building the political structure of the U.S. from scratch. The traditions we esteem today were created by Washington to work around the political battles in his Cabinet and with the leaders of Congress.
Building a functioning team means having calm, assertive leadership that listens to all viewpoints before making a final decision. Washington was one of the best at it.
If your company is struggling with HR issues, Corporate Compliance Risk Advisor can help you create HR policies that are appropriate for your company’s size and then serve as a resource to your staff as the policies are implemented.
Bryan is a serial entrepreneur. Every time he gets a new idea, he starts a new company to exploit the idea. He’s successful at starting businesses, but he’s lousy at running them.
Susan learns this the hard way when she begins working at one of his companies. Her first day on the job, she’s introduced to Elaine who is so friendly and helpful that Susan is duped into thinking she’s nice. But Elaine is a snake in the grass.
Elaine is an intolerable busybody. She stands near the elevator to track the time each employee shows up for work. She wanders the hallways, keeping tabs on what others are doing and saying. Then she passes every tidbit of information along to Bryan with a special Elaine twist.
the decisions he makes.
buy their own office supplies since Elaine locked up the supply closet and hid the key.
Susan knows that Bob was late with the financial reports because Elaine delayed helping him while she worked on other lower priority assignments. Susan looks at Elaine expecting her to defend Bob. Elaine smirks and remains silent.
In the actual situation, the junior manager soon found herself on the backstabber’s hit list and left the company as soon as possible.
Amber sits at her desk sorting through paperwork when Tom walks in and slumps in the chair across from her. Amber is the HR director for a company that provides transportation services for musical acts. Tom is one of the bus drivers. He stops by to give Amber an update about his recent month-long trip driving a rockabilly band around Texas.
professional contract. The tour was to build buzz about their new album. The band members were as excited as school children, staring out the windows as the passing scenery. At the first roadhouse, they leaped off the bus, grabbed their instruments, and prepared to sing.
Between performances, the band decided to explore the bars on the Riverwalk. Later no one could remember exactly what they did but they all agreed they had a great time. Then they got back on the bus for the next leg of the tour.
landscape. One day, after several minutes of staring, Denver asked where they are. Tom was as tired of the road as the band. Without taking his eyes off the road, he replied to Denver, “What difference does it make to you? When the bus stops, you’ll get off and play. Until then, shut up and go sit down”.
Jane drags herself into work the first day after the holidays, not sure whether she wants to be here. She’s the HR manager for her company and she knows that her co-workers will return with a host of problems. She has a few of her own.
announce that she planned to take an around the world trip with Frederik, a gigolo she met on her most recent Caribbean cruise. Jane’s daughter wants to ditch her senior year in high school to join a religious commune. On Christmas Day, the Christmas lights shorted out causing a fire that scorched half the front porch.
Doris is complaining that another manager interfered with Doris’ subordinates. The other manager, Lara, is a relatively new hire and Doris is “concerned” that Lara doesn’t understand that Doris makes all the decisions in her department. Doris demands that Jane tell Lara to stay away from Doris’ department or face immediate dismissal.
Jane sighs heavily. People who don’t know Doris well think she’s charming. She has perfect clothes, hair, makeup and a smile. But Jane knows that image is no more than Hollywood special effects. Underneath, Doris is as vicious as a junk yard dog when it comes to defending her turf. She bullies anyone she sees as a threat to her career.
As the holiday season kicks in, Anne isn’t feeling very happy. In fact, she’s depressed. She’s struggling to pay her bills after a couple of unexpected expenses, including a burst water pipe in her basement.
er was nagging her about taking a trip to Hawaii.
Anne doesn’t want to think about military sacrifices right now. Her oldest son is on active duty and she learned last week that he is being deployed to Iraq. Anne always knew this day would come but it’s still a shock.
Pearl Harbor were also repaired and used for the remainder of the war.
Dexter’s always prided himself on being a team player. He’s lost count of the number of times he covered for his boss, Dale, or stayed late to finish a project on a short deadline.
Dexter found the job ad on the internet after he noticed a stack of resumes to Dale’s desk during one of their meetings. Dexter asked if the company was planning to expand the department by adding a new hire. Dale’s wishy-washy response leaves Dexter less than convinced that he has his boss’ support.
ng when he returned to work, he couldn’t sign on to the company database. He frantically called tech support and learned that the company’s systems were subjected to a cyberattack and his passwords must be reset. Dexter would have known if he’d checked his business emails which he now refuses to do since he lost his reimbursement.
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